TWFC

No match fees this week as we played in a public park. Each person who played will be credited £2.50 in the accounts to reconcile the automatic charge the system deducts each match.

Players

Mufti

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Jorge, Koonal, Steve

Orange Bibs

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JonF, Milo, Niyi

Before we get into this report some brilliant international football news, England's ladies beat Germany 1 - 0 in the bronze medal play off match at the FIFA Women's World Cup 2015 thereby finishing best in Europe.

We played in the park again this week using bags for goal posts. We had a footpath on one side of the pitch and agreed that would act as a touch line. This gave rise to the interesting spectacle of playing a match with throw ins on one side only. The further 3 a-side park footy rules where: rush keeper but no keeper allowed to use their hands and balls allowed above head height. A further rule was added during the match when the Muftis noticed that they were having to go quite far to retrieve the ball from errant shots. The Bibs however, were benefiting from a family unit whose children were helping get the ball for them. It was agreed that anyone who missed would have to get the ball themselves rather than telling their opponents to hurry up and get it.

Jorge ran the ball at Jon and Milo and with sublime close control dribbled them and scored as other colleagues were still getting ready. When he declared that the match had started the consensus was reached that matches normally start by the mutual agreement of both sides and Jorge's unilateral commencement was unacceptable. The match restarted at 0 - 0. The Muftis scored their first goal with Niyi crouched by a post still getting ready. In another passage of play Milo caught the ball in the area from a Koonal shot leading to a penalty. Koonal took the penalty and converted it. Statistically this led to Milo having been involved in three penalties in three weeks, one scored, one missed and one let in. If Milo saves the next penalty he is involved in he will become the first player to have achieved the full suite of penalty options. Achieving the four options in four consecutive penalties will be a Grand Slam.

Back to the matter in hand, the Muftis scored their third goal when they struck from their left into an open goal with Niyi again by the post re-changing.

At 3 - 1 down on one of the hottest July evenings on record Milo and Jon carried the game to the Muftis. Niyi trying his hand at coaching encouraged Milo and Jon not to mark the opposition but to leave them to their own devices and force them to commit themselves to various courses of action. At 4 - 1 to the Muftis the Bibs' self appointed coach reassured them that the only time to worry would be if they were to go five goals behind.

Jorge, Koonal and Steve were not familiar with this type of seemingly kamikaze football but could not look a gift horse in the mouth and raised the score to 5 - 1. Milo and Jon continued to strive to bring the score back to respectability but seemed unable to exploit the Muftis who were playing a more traditional game of marking and defending.

Sticking doggedly to his new age principles the Bibs' coach shared a final pearl of wisdom/idiosyncrasy with his beleaguered team mates. He encouraged the Bibs to embrace the understanding that they always have more time than they think they have. Steve was heard to reasonably question how anyone could know how much time a player thought he had? His heresy of new age coaching was patiently overlooked.

The Bibs brought the game back to 5 - 2 and a passage of play saw Jorge, Steve and Koonal race to 8 - 3. Some people thought it was all over but not Jon and Milo, they knew that this was the five goal deficit that they had been warned of and the predicted point at which to draw the line in the sand.

Following the almost Zen philosophy that been sold to them JonF and Milo began to take that fraction of a second their opponents had hitherto robbed them of. Combining they exploited the fact that they had more time than they thought they had and JonF leisurely scored a quick fire hat trick including a delicious back pass into the net.

By 9 - 7 to the Muftis Koonal went to his bag and consulted his timepiece which he claimed advised him that it was two minutes to nine and he would leave at 9pm. The Bibs' coach begged Koonal to give an extra fifteen minutes then reminded him of the part he had played in time added on in a recent match. Koonal agreed he would add five minutes to his allotted time after which the match would end. Suddenly the Bibs had only the time Koonal said they could have.

At 9 - 8 to the Muftis and seemingly deep into Koonal's extra time, players heard a church bell starting to chime 9 pm. Koonal was asked to concede that perhaps his time reference was wrong and in truth the Bibs did have a little more time.

JonF and Milo combined again to bring the scores level. The noble drawer was offered and rejected. The Bibs struck again, for virtually the first time that evening they went ahead. Bibs 10 - Muftis 9. Koonal was told he could leave whenever he liked.

Was the match over? Were the five minutes up? Only Koonal could say and he was silent on the matter. Jorge does not deal in defeat and his indefatigable spirit helped his team to square the match up at 10 - 10. Still no one wanted to stop. Eventually all eyes turned to Koonal who confirmed there were 30 seconds left and the match would end after the next passage of play.

A move from the left by the Muftis drew Bibs players out allowing a pass to Steve who had an open goal to score in from three yards out. Realising this was the last kick of the night Steve swung a mighty boot at the ball and smashed it at the goal. In stunned silence the fixture froze as the ball rose from Steve's foot between the posts and off into the distance.

Players whispered "he missed!" others said "that was over!" someone even said "that would have been ok in rugby". Steve's lone voice insisted it was in. Jorge quietly called it as over.

Match ended.

Final score Bibs 10 - Muftis 10. Yet another noble drawer.

Post script

As he left the park with Koonal, but while still in ear shot, Jorge shouted back to the remaining players "actually it was in, record the score as 11 - 10 to the Muftis". This match reporter suspects that, like many footballing geniuses in the modern era, Jorge has a small devil that occasionally tries to mislead him. This is sometimes abundantly evident when he is asked the score. With this in mind his final contribution was ignored and the match remains as Bibs 10 - Muftis 10.

Things to Note

We have seen our new pitch. It is astro turf with crumb rubber. Blades of 'grass' look about 10 to 15 mm high, new full nets and painted lines. We are back there from 22 July 2015.

By the way did I mention the Lionesses won bronze at the FIFA Women's World Cup 2015? The best finish from an England football team in a world competition since 1966.