Subject: Players and Payers 2015_10_07

Payers
AlMaher                 £2.50 
JakeFlowers             £6.50 
luteusmaximus         £3.40 
Milo                             £5.00 
Niyi                             £3.10 
Scott                           £2.00
Stuart first match discount £2.50

Players

Mufti
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AlMaher,  Milo, Niyi, Scott, Stuart (Mark's friend)

Orange Bibs
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JakeFlowers, JonF, luteusmaximus, Mark, Steve

We welcomed Mark's friend Stuart to his first match.

A quick bit of housekeeping.  Prior to the match, and in response to recent controversy, Scott proposed and we accepted the following rule change for our form of football:

• If the keeper throws the ball out over head height - then it goes to the other keeper and not back to the original keeper.  [This applies to goal kicks as well.]

The rationale for the change was that it has 'always been a stupid rule'.  If only this logic could prevail in wider society.

It was further confirmed that the head height rule was intended for balls clearly over head height and not marginal calls.  This will need to be explored and will be examined at the end of the match report.

We were also pleased to see Mark who had not played for six months since he had presided over the destruction of an Orange Bibs team comprising AlMaher, Milo, Niyi and Scott. Memories are long at this level.

The Muftis raced to a 2 - 0 lead and seemed to be bossing the match until Jake took an opportunity to fire the ball into the net through a crowd of players to continue his run of scoring.  The Bibs scored again through Steve and Jake extended his total to two with a strike from more open play.  From 2 - 0 up suddenly the Muftis were 3 - 2 down.  At the risk of sounding like a broken record, please repeat after me - statistics tell us that 2 - 0 is one of the most precarious scores and if the team with the two do not kick on from that they will be caught and overtaken. 

Prior to the match, believing they were on the same side, Niyi shared with Steve the tactic that would undo the opposition this week.  Essentially defence would be swapped for Preventative Policing.  Players would be targetted and put under close surveillance if they were suspected of loitering with intent or attempting to encroach on the goal.  With this in mind Stuart was set to target JonF, a task which would be daunting for even the boldest of players.

In an assault on the Muftis' precinct Luteus came up against the immovable barricade of Milo.  The only solution seemed to be for him to be felled with an irresistable force.  Milo was struck by a shot straight to his crown jewels and the match stopped to give symapthy to him, for him to give first aid to himself, and to recover from the phantom, sympathetic, pain felt by many a battle hardened player.

In other passages of play when Stuart finished nullifying JonF's threats he would then take on Luteus.  His perfomances against each meant his team mates Alex, Milo and Scott were freer to make inroads into the Bibs' half and score the goals that brought the Muftis back into the lead.  Mark, who would normally go on mazy runs from his own half, seemed handcuffed as the Preventative Policing strategy seemed to confine him to the half way line for once.  Even Luteusmaximus's turn and slip move got him no where against the Muftis' police force.  The only thing that was missing for Stuart was the goal his performance deserved.  In amongst completing his own hat-trick Jake was then seen to protect his side with some inspired goalkeeping comprising of reflex saves worthy of Steve.

Despite the heroics in their goal, felling Milo and a theatric tumble from one of their own players nothing could stop the Bibs from falling further behind.  When the other team arrived the Bibs were three goals down.

Match awarded to the Muftis 8 - 5

Things to Note

• Steve was the first keeper to fall foul of the new overhead kicking rule for keepers and, in a moment of delicious irony, Niyi was the first beneficiary.

• Now we must return to the head height rule which is now clarified as intended for balls 'clearly over head height and not marginal calls'.  With this in mind players are asked to look at the cross section of silhouettes below and identify where the ball would need to be to constitute clearly over head height.  Once we crack this we have cracked the Da Vinci code that has become the head height rule.

        Image to help answer the head height conundrum

http://cbdatabases.com/twfc