Previous Reports
Match Report Wed 09 Mar 2016
Subject: Players and Payers 2016_03_09 Geometry in Football
Payers
AlMaher £2.00
Barkball £3.00
JakeFlowers £3.50
JonF £3.00
Jorge £3.00
Kaichan £3.00
Niyi £2.00
Scott £3.00
Players
Mufti
---------
AlMaher, Barkball, JakeFlowers, Kaichan, Niyi
Orange Bibs
--------------------
Antonio (Jorge’s friend), JonF, Jorge, Scott
This evening we welcomed Antonio, a friend of Jorge’s, to his first match. We had uneven numbers so agreed on four Bibs against five Muftis. A lad from the Atletiko Madrid Guests came by. We invited him to play with open arms. Like Shalamar he told us I’ve got friends. It was then left to JonF to diplomatically tell him that the offer to play would therefore need to be withdrawn.
We agreed that a player could swap sides at nominal half time. The match was initially a little cat and mouse affair. As the sides tested each other the score remained at 0-0 for a while. AlMaher, JakeFlowers and Kaichan were strongly told to have no mercy and build up a significant lead . The Muftis then crafted a strong goal haul and were soon bossing the match. The Bibs were asked if they felt it was half time but they did not reply. Later on at 11 – 4 the Bibs were again asked if they would like to use their right to take a player at half time. The Bibs declined this and seemed comfortable enough in their formation to continue unchanged.
Jorge had told us that Antonio is a ‘good player’. He proved this as he had an excellent debut and combined with JonF, Jorge and Scott to chip away at the Muftis’ lead. Excellent goals were scored by the Bibs; one even led to the players being asked to stop and clap. During this onslaught Kaichan, in goal, was forced to save the ball with his face. This immediately catapulted him to the league of keepers who have proven they are ‘well hard’. This painful accolade is awarded to those players who through sheer dedication to the cause stop the ball with any part of their anatomy that would not normally be used by a keeper. (Ouch! Even thinking about these saves hurts.)
It is believed that Scott of the Trinity had not tasted defeat all year . As the evening wore on the Bibs were closing the gap. With the score standing at Muftis 14 – Bibs 10 there seemed to be a slim possibility that the Bibs might save the evening. As no other team arrived the match went into extra time with Barkball calmly talking his team through how to resist the Orange onslaught. With the time standing at 9:10pm it was agreed that five minutes more would be played. Still believing in the possibility of a famous come back Antonio brought the ball in from the right and from around 16 yards out struck the ball along the hypotenuse of the right angle triangle of his position and into the far corner of the net. Scoring from this most unlikely of angles left observers in awe of the technical mastery of the shot which barely rose more than a foot off of the ground before hitting the back of the net.
Artist’s Impression of the Use of Pythagoras Theorem in Antonio’s Goal
(Younger readers this is why you should pay attention and learn trigonometry at school)
This rounded off a great debut and shortly after it was agreed the evening was done.
Final score Muftis 15 – Orange Bibs 11
Match awarded to the Muftis. The record salutes the Bibs for playing the night with four players and choosing not to take a player at half time.
Things to Note
Antonio joins the ranks of players who have burst on to the scene with multiple goals on their debut.
Barkball remains unbeaten in every match he has played in at TWFC.
