TWFC

The thing about space is it is infinite, so anything you can imagine could be happening somewhere. For example somewhere in a galaxy far far away there is a guy called Austin sitting in his mansion watching Champions League football on a 90 inch holographic TV while outside a guy named Andy paints his fence and each time he nears the end the fence needs repainting and he starts again on an infinite cycle.

That Andy dreams of a world where him and Austin are friends and play football together at a place in North London. But Austin is ahead of him and across time has decided whenever he, Austin, plays at Tottenham on a Wednesday Andy will never win a match. And so it goes game after game, week after week, year after year. Austin turns up, Andy stops winning, an infinite cycle at Tottenham Wednesday FC.

Every player has tried their best to change this and all have failed. Barkball, JonF, Johnny, Jake, Anthonyto, Scott, Kaichan , Danny, Mark, Dave, Nathan, Scott, Milo; nearly every player you can think of has tried to break the spell first cast on 14 September 2016 .

At Tottenham Wednesday we are not superstitious. We understand metaphysics and this week players put their foot down. No longer must Andy be consigned to a life of no victories in the presence of Austin. Tonight Andy's team would win even it was ugly we had to win. If we lost or drew then we would disappear to the world where we believe Dave, Mark and Danny are forever waxing Austin's car. Wax on, wax off, wax on, wax off for all eternity.

JonF's team randomiser joined Andy with many of his team mates from the original 12 - 0 thrashing and then for good measure threw Austin in to join them.

The Muftis meant business. Before they could blink the Bibs were 4 - 0 down and falling apart. Milo called a crisis meeting and woke the Bibs up. Strange things began to happen. Keepers would kick the ball out and it would simply roll to an opposition player who would score. The Bibs began to come back into the match. Muftis learned the hard way that Eddie01 is a player hiding in plain sight with a name that means 'Eddie only needs 1 chance' as he lashed in goals like Harry Kane.

At 7 - 5 Milo corrected the score as 7 - 6. This set the tone for a controversial end as when the next team arrived some players were still debating whether there was one goal in it or two. The Bibs scored and most people agreed it was 8 - 8.

In desperation Andy punted a ball up field to leave Niyi one on one with the keeper. Milo is hard and saved the shot with his crown jewels. How does a player do that month after month? At the other end Anthonyto was doing wonders in his goal to keep the score even.

It was happening again, the night was destined to finish with Andy not wining again. The Muftis had gambled with infinity and were seconds away from losing. In the best Back to the Future tradition the Muftis could feel themselves fading away to a universe with Danny, Mark and Dave. Wax On! Wax Off!

The match would end with the gate opening. Some people thought it was all over. The last seconds of existence was upon the Muftis. Then cometh the hour, cometh the man. Austin took the ball at the half way line and ran up the pitch. One on one with Milo. Austin held the power to end the torment. Milo held the power to keep it.

Austin slotted the ball through Milo's legs. GOAL !

The next team declared the time as up. Seasoned players were in shock. At last a victory and Austin had bestowed it on his friend in an act of kindness personified.

Final score Muftis 9 - 8 Orange Bibs

Match awarded to the Muftis

Things to Note

Milo announced that anyone who disputes his scoring is likely to be a person who still argues that the world is flat. With this the evening was well and truly over.

Out of interest does anyone know how we can return Danny, Mark and Dave to this reality?

Let's do it all again at Tottenham Wednesday FC