TWFC

Avvon, Ben, Nathan, Niyi, Charles (2nd half)

Muftis knew they were in for a hard time tonight. Social media had been lit up with the collective displeasure of their colleagues over the Young Ones and their subsequent use of substitutes the previous week. Steve picked the sides and with righteous indignation arraigned the four Muftis before his own attacking tour de force. Somehow Milo, who had not been entirely innocent in young-sub-gate, managed to get himself in with the Bibs and help mete out retribution to his former team mates.

It was five Bibs against four Muftis. What happened to the lone spectator? One might well ask. On the one night when that legendary extra was needed not a single one was to be found. It was almost as if tonight the match was to be played behind closed doors as a punishment. Bibs played stick keeper and agreed to consider a person swapping sides at half time.

Scene set, residual angst explained, the pummelling began. For the first few minutes the match was somewhat even until the Bibs went 1 - 0 then 2 -0 up and the Muftis found that they could not both attempt to press attacks, then rush back to defend. On the other hand the Bibs were able to leave a man just behind their midfield which fed their alternating strikers. This meant they had the freedom to play a swaying rhombus type formation which allowed Johnny, Jon F, Milo and Charles to rain down blow after blow on the beleaguered Muftis' goal. At 5 - 0 Avvon, ever known for taking a forthright view of events, ruefully shook his head and said 'it looks like it is going to be one of those nights'. Several goals into a catalogue of goal keeping clangers Niyi was forced to agree with him.

As the half wore on it gave up a masterpiece of excellent Bibs' goals as Charles, Jon F, Johnny and Milo picked apart their opposition and then fell back to defend. At 7 -0 it seemed that the Bibs could become the first team to complete a full half without conceding a goal. Johnny without the baggage of the previous week kindly reminded the Muftis to shout when it was half time. The Muftis' response to this was to shout 'we are not Sunderland!', at which point they went 8 - 0 down and even that rallying call proved erroneous.

With seemingly nothing left a cunning plan was hatched. It was noticed that the Bibs were using their superior numbers to smother players on the ball. Avvon was asked to sacrifice himself and draw the opposition on to him leaving Ben and Nathan on either side freer to strike back. Bingo! the Muftis got a goal back and then another. At 8 - 2 some the Bibs decided to take an impromptu drinks break and as the Muftis moved the ball up the pitch they stopped in consternation at the sight of their opponents drinking and chatting mid game. Having waited nearly a minute Nathan was instructed to walk the ball past the half way line, he did this and one or two Bibs milled around the goal so Nathan pulled the trigger and rifled the ball at goal from just inside the Bibs' half. 8 - 3. Complaints about how that was just not cricket fell on deaf ears, particularly as when the match restarted again some Bibs players were only just packing up their drinks.

At 9 - 3 the Muftis finally agreed it was half time and Charles kindly offered to join them.

With the numbers reversed and only six goals in it there was a fair chance that the Muftis could overwhelm what should have been a tiring Bibs ensemble. But cometh the hour cometh the man, Steve was having none of it, he engaged in a middle of the park duel with Ben stymieing him at almost every turn, then combined with the unflappable Johnny, Milo and Jon F juggernaut to continue to score goals.

Steve completed his hat trick by the time the score was 16 - 6 to the Bibs. Charles turned his ankle and had to take a spell in goal, it seemed that as predicted it was one of those nights. Wise to the role Avvon was playing the Bibs finally introduced him to what might be described as a 'genteel reducer', a sort of innocuous but robust tackle that takes the recipient off of his feet and comprehensively nullifies any positive influence that he might have been planning. This move is normally punctuated by then helping the opponent to his feet and enquiring about his general health and well-being.

Nathan kept popping the goals in on behalf of the Muftis, but it just wasn't enough. At 21 - 8 to the Bibs and with the night well in to time added on Steve had scored at least five goals and Jon F had to depart. As he left the fixture bag in hand Jon pulled off a save in the area, then Milo also in the area pulled off a second save. When queried about this seeming Oxlade-Chamberlain breach of football rules the Bibs demanded leniency as they had fewer players. Charles went back to his parent team to equalise numbers and discourage further controversy.

Last goal wins was called for and Nathan scored this to bring his tally to eight on the night.

Match awarded to the Bibs 21 - 9.

Last goal finale won by the Muftis 1 - 0.

Things to Note

There is no match next week 29 October 2014 as Spurs play Brighton and Hove Albion in the Capital One Cup.

A quick reality check - Last Goal Wins is a misnomer in circumstances like this, it suggested that it be read as Last Goal Wins a bonus point.

Nathan rockets to third place on the league of goals scored in a match, now behind only Danny and Johnny.

In the good old days after a losing a scrap at school the defeated party would slink off sniffing and thinking this isn't over. Well guess what this particular match must be replayed at some point with even sides from the outset. The record will eagerly look out for that night.