TWFC

We thank Jumhal for doing the teams. There are few greater kindnesses than the player who, knowing he is not playing, still offers to set out the teams for his spars to have a good battle.

There was no camera and some would say this was exploited to the Nth degree. However, some might not say that, it is all a matter of perspective. Speaking of perspective there can be fewer harder things than contributing your favourite bibs to a fixture and turning up to find that they are being worn by the opposition. Coach Hagenius, as always, was taciturn about the quandary but the match report recognises it was the wrong thing to do. The person who did that dirty to Coach says, to quote the fictional Dr Houseman, "I'm Wrong, I Say I'm Wrong".

OK, if you saw the match last week you will know that Jimmy9 seemed to have it his own way as an unmarked forward staying up top and making those plays that win matches. After that match he was told in no uncertain terms that he would not have been able to do that kind of thing if Isreral90 was in defence against him. Jimmy9 reserved his comments but the gauntlet was there.

We sometimes forget that the five current players with the quickest feet includes Sadulla. Hitherto it has been very hard to stop him. Tonight with cameras absent we believe that Sadulla may have been taken out by what can only be defined as the dark side of the force. Whilst Sadulla hobbled in pain, the Green Bibs' player that 'tackled' him stated that he played fair but his foot had merely gone over the ball. Sadulla's colleagues sympathised with his pain but those who called for a free kick were outweighed by those who rejected the call or stayed silent. If there were a referee he or she might have said if a tackle is reckless, and the person gets all of the ball there can still be a foul, how much more studs going over the ball?

This set the tone for the match. Well it didn't really. I just thought I would say that.

A further controversial incident was when the Blue Bibs took a shot only to find both the Green Bibs' keeper and an outfield defender in the box. Our rules stipulate that only the keeper can be in the box. With consternation the Blue Bibs appealed for a penalty area infringement. The offending outfield player explained that whilst he was in the area he did not touch the ball and the shot was wide anyway. The striker's colleagues sympathised with his pain but those who called for a penalty were outweighed by those who rejected the call or stayed silent. If there were a referee he or she might have said if an attack is in progress an outfield defender has no legitimate business in the area. To be there is a likely to be a penalty area offence no matter how a shot is struck.

A further matter of controversy arose when a shot from the Blue Bibs went straight into the arms/hands of a Green Bibs' defender on the edge of the area. The defender explained that the attacker had their back to him and he was covering them. The attacker, he explained, swivelled and struck the ball before he could react. The striker's colleagues sympathised with his outrage but those who called for a penalty were outweighed by those who rejected the call or stayed silent. If there were a referee he or she might have been forced to decide whether two arms across the front of the body with hands in a ball catching stance is a natural position?

Controversy aside. At the club we previously did not know that we have Israel90 amongst the top five players who can see the whole pitch and ping a ball from one end to the other and land it on a sixpence. The other four, you know yourselves, don't let the doubters beat the ability out of you. With 15 seconds on the clock in a cup decider locked at 0 - 0 with the play at our end we want you to put that ball in the right place at the other end for the winning goal.

The match was won by the Green Bibs by two goals. The match would see Israel float a delightful ball up for the run of JonF. The complexity of such a ball is if it lands too close to the area, a penalty area infringement might occur. If not timed with the run then JonF would have too much time on his hands and the keeper would have a possible chance at smothering the shot. When done perfectly the ball lands with the striker and in a fluid motion it is received and hit before one can say Jack Robinson. Israel90's assist for JonF and the finish were the stuff of action replays but don't worry, be happy if you were there because it is saved in your mind's eye.

Israel90's second route one was better than the first. Ellislewis123 was up on his own on the edge of the Blue Bibs' penalty area. The keeper was screaming "who has got Ellis?". Interesting thing about pressing to retrieve the match is that marking goes out of the window. Without the benefit of video evidence all we can say is that the silicon chip inside Israel90's head got switched to overload and he again saw the pitch in sports cam mode. He simply floated the ball to Ellislewis123 and all that forward player had to do was gently direct the ball past the keeper. Legend will say Ellislewis123 did not even look and it was the deftest of deft back headers that he placed beyond the keeper before anyone could say Jack Robinson. It was not gonna be the one that anyone could save. This header immediately went to the top of the league of best headed goals scored at our fixture.

Every so often I take a moment to award the goal of the match, simply because I can. The last one was MGure when he retired all commentary. Today the goal of the game goes to Ellislewis123 and the assist of the match goes to Israel90.

The match was a balance of disagreement and precision.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that one of the worst sights after losing is to walk past VIIGeorgeVII grinning like a Cheshire Cat telling you that the refereeing was perfect this week. But surely players know to take it on the chin and not look back in anger I hear you say? Thankfully, being the prescient person that he is, VIIGeorgeVII knew not to wind up colleagues further and he put forward the more politically astute BILZ96 to do the post match interview.

[Click here to listen to interviews with BILZ96 for the Green Bibs and Coach Hagenius for the Blue Bibs ...]

After post match duties were concluded Leonalexis would attempt to balance the scales by stating that he felt sure that the Blue Bibs' keeper had been straying marginally out of his area in making saves. Inexplicably, VIIGeorgeVII who had been mainly at the other end of the pitch confirmed that he had noticed it too. All agreed the situation would be monitored going forward.

Final Score

Blue Bibs 8 - 10 Green Bibs

Match awarded to the Green Bibs

Things To Note

The first person to correctly name all of the films, books and songs hidden in the above will get a free game. Deadline 8pm the night before the next match.

Let's do it all again next match at Tottenham Wednesday FC