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Match Report Wed 11 Mar 2015

Subject: Re: Players and Payers 2015_03_11

Payers

AlMaher  £2
Avvon  £4
Ben  £5
Danny  £5
Luteusmaximus  £14

Players

Mufti
--------
Avvon, Ben, Danny, Nathan, Niyi

Orange Bibs
------------------
AlMaher, Arik, JonF, Koonal, Luteusmaximus, Milo


In the lead up to the match the essence of the legendary retired referee Pierlugi Collina was introduced to help refine our communication on social media.

Pierluigi Collina

 
The first yellow card for profanities was gracefully accepted.  Arik, who for once was not involved, has stated that he will appeal in any case and defend unfettered freedom of speech to the highest courts in the land.  The first controversy of the year could be brewing.

Still smarting from a last second defeat the previous week JonF sensed his managerial fortunes would need a spectacular turnaround.  With this in mind he welcomed the partnership of Arik and Koonal to him, to play alongside his teammate from the previous week, Luteus, and the ever mercurial mage that is Milo. Noticing that Niyi was milking a third week of some form of tendonitis and unable to play in goal Jon 'kindly' sent him to join the Muftis, thereby leaving that team with a wealth of attackers and no dedicated keeper.  AlMaher arrived and was also invited to join Jon's Bibs, giving them a player advantage.

Basically the Muftis played rush keeper but were out manoeuvred all over the match.  Even the dreaded scoring from distance into an open net was effected by the Bibs.  Despite the Muftis  scoring a  hat full of goals, for most of the evening the Bibs were at least four or five goals ahead as they manfully adhered to the mantra that there are no easy games and the match is not over until the last kick. 

This year has seen the introduction of a skills move named the Arik .  This match showed us an extension of the Arik which was performed successfully by Luteus. The move differs from an Arik in as much as the player is facing the goal and then tackles two to three players by turning a full circle with the ball before skipping on .  Old school skateboarders can picture it in their mind's eye as similar to a graceful 360 kick turn with a ball under the front of the board.  Anyway, suffice it to say, this skill was done enough times to name it after its introducer; for ease of reference it will be called a Maximus.

The night proved a fair though bruising encounter, Ben who we already know is hard was often seen sprawling on the deck.  Despite Arik having set himself up as the players' advocate he was still unceremoniously floored by one of those he had sworn to protect.  Danny weaved his normal magic but even scoring and making goals with Nathan and Avvon could not halt the inevitable.  

No other team arrived, nor did the hoped for comeback, it was only the intervention of the centre's caretaker at about 09:20pm that stopped the punishment.

Match awarded to the Orange Bibs 19 - 11.

Things to Note

  • It is not reasonable for this write up to scare new players by suggesting that there is something eerie about our pitch and its environment.  However, after coming away from a tackle at the left car park end Luteus noticed his hand was inexplicably covered in a fuscia coloured gel.  As rational footballers we know the strange things that happen at the venue must have a logical explanation.  But boy when you see ectoplasm on your hand who you gonna call?




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