TWFC

By 15 minutes on the clock the Blue Bibs were 0 - 3 ahead, in cruise control and the fixture had been lit up by an incredible solo goal by MSGomes. He simply took the ball for a trip around the opposition half and let it see various defenders before resting it in the net.

15 minutes later the White Tops were 6 - 4 ahead. In this phase of play Leonalexis had demonstrated the technique and control to place the ball into the net from inside his own half. Not to be outdone the rest of his team went on to combine for a sublime team passing move with MGure applying the coup de grace of a delicious dink over a diving keeper. This may be the first time on record where every player on a team touched the ball and scored without any contact from their opposition.

When MGure scored again within a minute the Blue Bibs sternly enquired of each other as to what on earth was going on. When the outfield players could not agree on an actual cause or culprit the final verdict was it must have been the goalkeeper's fault. In that moment the keeper developed genuine empathy for the plight of the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

On the 30 minute mark the legendary fan Bonney arrived and cheered his friends on the White Tops to a 7 - 4 lead.

At the same time the Blue Bibs further imploded and a question was raised about the ability of the whole team.

If we were a parliament then the captain of the Blue Bibs was playing the role of Speaker of the House. He attempted to bring order to proceedings by reminding his team that he had not heard the opposition criticise each other even once even when they were losing.

The house went back into uproar when the leader of the opposition Leonalexis split the Blue Bibs' ranks with a cheeky back heel to set Jimmy9 on his way to complete his hat-trick.

White Tops 9 - 5 Blue Bibs

At this point Loyal Fan Bonney leant his vote to the Blue Bibs and began to encourage them out of their bi-election blues.

Despite Bonney's best endeavours the Blue Bibs blithely continued to self destruct. JonF of the White Tops, whom we believe is a master of the dark arts of politics, committed an area infringement then picked up the ball and tossed it at the Blue Bibs keeper. The ball rebounded back into open play and like the economy it was deemed a keeper's fault. As the keeper turned the air blue one wondered if even the key constituent of Bonney could help settle this ship.

At the end of the third block of 15 minutes the Bonney Effect had the Blue Bibs back.

White Tops 9 - 8 Blue Bibs

Controversy struck. A swiftly advancing VIIGeorgeVII was tagged as he chased a ball for the Blue Bibs' attack. He went down but his honorable friends in Blue Bibs played on. This resulted in Leon94 slotting the ball home to draw the score level. The White Tops argued they had paused, the Blue Bibs position was that no one had asked them to. Inexplicably, despite VIIGeorgeVII having been contacted on the leg, one of the White Tops would later say he had stopped in the genuine belief it was a head injury. As the debate raged in the house close observation of the footage also shows the White Bibs player who committed the original foul pick up the ball and bounce it off of VIIGeorgeVII's head. We cannot fathom how this helped unless it was a form of verification as to whether the fixture was being given fake news.

Somehow the democratic process came to the unique position that the White Tops who had committed the foul also had the right to stop the match and nullify any advantage for their opponents. Goal did not stand and the White Tops awarded the Blue Bibs a free kick.

White Tops 9 - 8 Blue Bibs

The freekick led to further controversy again from the player who had committed the foul and later bounced the ball on his opponent's head. This time the claim was that he cleared the ball while it was passing through his own penalty area. Naz took and scored a hotly disputed penalty which was referred for a post match VAR check.

VAR Check: 46:54 Did White Top outfield player make contact with a ball inside his own penalty area?

Footage is inconclusive as to whether any part of the ball was in the area or above the line when it was played by the White Top player.

VAR Decision: The awarded penalty cannot be upheld.

On reflection, Blue Bibs were wrong to accept a free kick. The appropriate step to take would have been to request that VAR check the original goal and determine who called for play to be stopped.

White Tops 9 - 8 Blue Bibs

Further controversy ensued when MSGomes left after finally having had enough. A replacement for the Blue Bibs was agreed from the team after our fixture. As the substitute was readying himself the White Tops reverted to two players in their own penalty area and eventually conceded a penalty area infringement. No one can understand what they were doing or why.

With time running out and others engaging in party politics the correctly awarded penalty was quickly dispatched by Coach Hagenius.

White Tops 9 - 9 Blue Bibs

Some of the members present sat on the floor of the house. The next party had arrived and were waiting. The substitute did not get a chance to come on and the match ended.

The match ball was shared between Hagenius, Jimmy9 and MGure who each scored a hat-trick.

Interestingly the match outcome required a re-count and like an unplanned referendum we probably didn't expect the final result.

Final Score

White Tops 9 - 9 Blue Bibs

Match declared a hung Parliament (Noble Draw).

Let's do it all again next match at Tottenham Wednesday FC