TWFC

Dave, JonF, Jorge, Steve, Michael (a spectator invited to play)

Cancellations meant that Michael took to the pitch again this week as a welcome guest ensuring that we could play even sides. This was scheduled to be that mouth watering fixture that is thrown up every once in a while where the proponents of similar styles of play are placed on opposing sides and go head to head to determine who is 'da man'.

The mini battles were:

Milo v Michael - the dribbling tricks sorcerer against the apprentice.
Adrian v Jorge - Goal Machine v The King of Small Spaces to answer the question of who gives the most clinical return when supplied the ball within sight of the goal.
Johnny v JonF - a founder captain versus the most capped captain of the season to see whose gentle man management and leading by example would triumph (note it is 'gentle man management' as opposed to management of gentlemen).

Prior to the match Steve had taken to social media to make the prophesy that Jorge would lose. With this in mind impartial observers could not properly fathom how Steve then managed to gleefully end up on Jorge's side. The complexities of a player's use of double and treble bluffs is beyond the scope of this match report so suffice it to say we feel confident that Steve knew what he was doing.

Jorge struck first with characteristic minimal effort to give the Bibs the lead. This and another Jorge strike coupled with hitting the post a few times was enough to worry the Muftis that their keeper was possibly only with them in person. With this added pressure the Muftis hit back and when next the score was taken it was Muftis 5 Bibs 2. The match began to be treated to a Muftis' master class as the opposition learned the hard way that Johnny and Adrian had played together for over a decade so were able to play passing moves that only come from years of knowing what the other would do. Nathan, known to be able to adapt to virtually any system, benefited from this and joined Adrian and Johnny in lashing home shots which increased the lead. By the time it was 9 - 4 to the Muftis Steve had been forced to prove his credentials as the club's form keeper as his goal was continuously peppered.

Michael is a player who can beat everyone on his day, from a standing start he can sell an opponent a dummy, drift past them, check that they have the right change and glide on to score. With this in mind he still found himself being tackled by Adrian. Players in the pub later reflected that is the value of Adrian being able to read plays. He was further tackled by Milo and it was pleasing for the Mufti's keeper to note that Michael was eventually reduced to shooting from distance. He did with his normal high precision but not with the Avvon, Nathan, Tom or Tim ability to rifle the ball in from just inside the half way line, so some saves were made.

Milo was on song to the degree that, with every other player occupied the keeper caught his eye as he was closely marked on the left wing, a goal kick was hoofed down the middle of the pitch almost as if it was being given to the opposing keeper. Milo then set off his after burners and ran an arc from his position inside the opposition's half around the outside of his defender who was goal side of him and received the ball and slotted it round the keeper. Legendary boxer Muhammad Ali once explained to the world he was so fast that he had once turned off a hotel light switch and was in bed before the room got dark. Our modern day equivalent is the keeper had sent a text to the opposition then Milo had rushed after it and flicked it into their inbox.

By the time Milo had scored four goals he had also received the accolade of Michael bowing to him and acknowledging him as 'Da Man'. Koonal, had he been present, would have cautioned him about this as he is not in favour of the practice of praising one's opponents during a match.

Adrian had rifled in a goal from the right hand side and not be out done Nathan had done the same, even Milo was open mouthed in admiration. It was almost a carnival atmosphere as the Muftis pulled away from their opponents to take the score to 13 - 4. In a moment of unusual abandon Johnny, in addition to his finer goals, put a shot over the fence which seemed to ascend forever before bouncing on the roof back into the car park thereby catapulting him immediately into the top 10 of the 'Ave It league.

Eventually Dave had had enough and rolling back the months from a couple of paces inside the Muftis' half hit the ball at the goal. The ball flew at daisy cutter height towards Jorge who was on the edge of the area. Dave's ball kept coming and Jorge, who is the arch nightmare of keepers, to the bemusement of both his marker and the opposition keeper did not touch the ball and it simply carried on into the net. Dave had scored the most perplexing of goals where so many others had failed. This made it Bibs 5 Muftis 13.

Soon it was 14 - 5 and Nathan carved out another opportunity, he hit the side netting before taking the rebound and slotting that past the keeper. There were dark mumblings about this and also it was noticed that the long forgotten next team were gathering. Last goal wins was agreed and Nathan was set free again to run through the Bibs' middle, he scored again but players determined that the keeper's initial throw had taken the ball over head height so the goal was disallowed.

The next team opened the gate and the match was deemed finished. The mini battles had been concluded, Johnny had orchestrated a total victory over JonF. Michael had capitulated to Milo. Adrian's goal machine and Jorge's sovereignty of small spaces had battled each other to a standstill.

Full time: Muftis 15 - Bibs 5

Last goal: wins 0 - 0

Match awarded to the Muftis 15 - 5

Steve's prophesy had come true.

Things to Note

At an extraordinary general meeting in the pub across the road a quorum of players reached the consensus that we will release our fixtures back to the Sports Centre during the Ramadan period as needed. This will be done without any conditions as we have often benefited from the goodwill of the Sports Centre over the years and we value and appreciate their flexibility. Details of the request.

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