TWFC

Replacing the Devil Dog, the TWFC Matrix is that supernatural glitch in reality that means a player is locked into a cycle of strange experiences week after week.

Fig 1 A human understandable representation of the TWFC Matrix

The Muftis kicked off with a player extra so it was 6 against 5. The gentlemen’s agreement was that a player might switch sides at nominal half time.

Ben who had only recently escaped the Matrix was in no mood to go back so he was seen to lash in goal upon goal. Barkball, the only player with a 100% unbeaten club record, was not fazed by these superstitions and just plied his trade in the way he always has calmly leading the Muftis to a healthy lead.

Avvon pairing with Danny and Jorge put in a shift to score those goals that could keep the Bibs within touching distance. The Muftis however had RichShep and JakeFlowers who also wished to score at will and were ably assisted by Milo.

The goals rained in (see what I did there ‘rain’. Get it?). Being a keeper against the Muftis was a thankless task. It was freezing and the choice was be cold or be heated up from the burning sting of thunderbolt shots. I steadfastly resolved to stay cold.

By nominal half time it was 10 – 3. JonF was invited to select a player to come over to the Bibs. He was heard to say ‘we will take Milo’ but the outcome was that Barkball came across to the Bibs.

There were audible gasps in some players’ minds as the enormity of the decision was understood. The only player with a team 100% win record was being switched to play on the side that was 10 – 3 down at half time.

Barkball was philosophical and took the seven goal deficit in his stride. Soon it was 11- 4 to the Muftis then something like 12 – 6. The clock ticked by and it seemed that there was nothing anyone could do.

JonF exhorted the Bibs to go for it. Jorge seemed to play the role of a striker coming in from the left, Avvon came in from the right and Danny, JonF and Barkball built up from the middle.

Shot after shot was fired at the Muftis’ goal. Steve was having one of those nights when he was up for it. He did not care about the wind or the wet. It was a case of ‘I am Steve and you shall not score’. Jorge was not getting much change from Steve who seemed determined to condemn the Bibs to defeat. In the manner of Shakespeare’s Richard the Third, Barkball was heard to exclaim ‘We need a centre forward! My kingdom for a centre forward!’ (OK you know he didn’t say it that way but this is pure theatre, artistic licence and all that).

Goals were inevitably scored but for every four shots Steve seemed to save three. Full time came and went with the score at 15 – 13 to the Muftis who seemed penned in their own half. Someone asked the time and was reassured that there were at least five minutes more.

The next team did not arrive. Even they did not want to be out on a night like this.

Then it was 15 – 14 to the Muftis. Someone asked the time again and the reassuring response was there was literally a couple of minutes to play. The game swung from end to end then suddenly it was 15 – 15. Somehow the Bibs had pulled the match back.

In the dying seconds of the match the Bibs struck again and went 16 – 15 ahead. Then one of the Bibs observed that it was quite late and the game really was over.

As players shock hands someone observed that it was odd how we had played extra time only for as long as it took for the team behind to draw level and then win.

In the post-match inquest players were asked if there were any issues with the record showing a 16 – 15 win to the Bibs. Milo then took centre stage and gave a rousing speech about the egregious and cruel, perfidious manner in which scores were kept. Warming to his topic he turned to what he saw as disingenuous methods of time keeping and his firm suspicion there had been a miscount at 12 – 8. It was 9:20 and players needed to get off but Milo was outraged. In the manner of a kindly Greek philosopher lecturing his flock he deftly built up his scholarly case for a recount…

Fig 2 An Artist’s Representation of the Speech at the End of the Match

Finally worn down by the castigation from the respected senior player the Bibs conceded that they would offer the Noble Draw.

For newer players the Noble Draw can be offered when there is both genuine and serious contention about a closely fought match.

Final score

Muftis 15 - Orange Bibs 15

Things to Note

Avvon’s fight against the machine goes on.
Barkball’s undefeated record remains intact.
In future players must challenge the score during the match.

http://cbdatabases.com/twfc